It's May long-weekend, in case you're reading about this for the first time. Long-weekends used to drive me nuts, simply because there was the inevitable pressure of having to do something. Often we are working with people who just seem to have the most amazing plans, and want to tell you all about them, before asking, "So what are you doing?" And then there's the inevitable Tuesday morning in which the first question you get upon stumbling into work is about what you did on the long week-end.
But then something happened: I stopped feeling the pressure of it all. If I didn't do anything spectacular, then that was fine with me--I was going to own it. Besides, didn't the Beatles say that "life is what happens while we're making plans"?
There have been several studies done on the effects of Facebook on emotion, which have found a correlation between the amount of time spent on the social network and rates of depression. It's like a vicious circle: the experience demands the Facebook post and the Facebook post demands the experience; like everyone's trying to one-up each other on what they're doing in life. I'm not suggesting Facebook is somehow this evil medium, but it's how we use it that can create undue stress in our lives. Suddenly the trip out to see your in-laws desperately pales in comparison to your acquaintance (read: "friend") who's gone base-jumping in the Grand Canyon followed by dinner, black jack, and Maria Carey at Caesar's Palace.
Here are some tips to get through your May long week-end and keep your spirits up at the same time:
1. Chill out: Life is so stressful: long commutes to work, followed by 8-6 of non-stop meetings and emails and projects, followed by an hour or two after dinner to veg in front of the Home Channel before off to bed to do the same thing again. Make your long week-end about totally taking it easy--not just in body, but in mind as well. Be present for each day, and for those around you. Don't take on too much--and take it as it comes.
2. Be mindful: Mindfulness is an orientation to the world largely snuffed out by the present shock of modern life. Mindfulness is being attentive to the present moment in whatever it is you're doing: eating, mowing the lawn, talking with your spouse, playing with your child. Mindfulness means putting away the cares and worries that distract and focusing in on what's happening in your life right now. When we're not mindful, and distracted by countless Facebook notifications and text messages and emails from work, even a week-end can be full of stress. Turn off the phone, or 'lose' it somewhere, and be present for your life. Regardless of what you do, you'll feel a sense of peace.
3. Get some solitude: Solitude is being by yourself without being lonely. Solitude is a practice, especially in our hyper-connected world in which even when we're by ourselves we cling to others through social networking and text messaging. Solitude is connected to mindfulness: finding some time on your own to sit or lay down or go for a walk or bike ride, and just be present for yourself: How am I feeling? What's going on in my life? What am I happy about? What am I thankful for? What's troubling me? These are all ways to find solitude in your long week-end. It doesn't have to be a long time; but getting some time with yourself is vital.
4. Have meaningful time with others: The day that slips by today, made up of many single moments, you'll never get back. We often fill our days with things to ward off the inevitability of our final day. Many who are dying wish they had spent more time with loved ones, or had cleared up a disagreement or dispute. The time to do it is now--while you're still breathing: spend meaningful time with friends and loved ones, and be present for them, and be thankful for them, realizing you'll never get that day that passes back.
5. 'Be' more than 'do': All of these tips culminate in one thing: to focus on being rather than doing. The problem with Facebook and other social networks is that they emphasize doing rather than being: you are what you do, so when you're not doing something earth-shattering you feel bad about yourself; you feel as though you're no good or not good enough, or don't make enough money, or don't have a big enough house with the pool that belongs at a Hilton Hotel, not someone's backyard. But all those things are chimeras: they often cover who people really are inside; all the doing and posting on Facebook can often mask a deep despair, loneliness, and overall dissatisfaction for oneself. When we are present for ourselves, mindful, and spend meaningful times with those around us, we find out more about who we are; we come face to face with Life itself. This is what matters; this is where the richness of life overwhelms the seeming 'riches of life', or someone else's.
And when you focus on these things, and try and live them out over the long week-end, you'll go back to work on Tuesday feeling refreshed, alive, and ready to face the challenges of the day.
No comments:
Post a Comment