Life is busy. And many of us believe that doing is the only way of being. But I am proposing another way to living that is just as important: non-doing. Yes, I am advocating a way of living that raises stillness above movement, silence above noise, and calmness above restlessness.
We are all restless. To be modern is to live in a perpetual state of restlessness. And we live in restlessness so greatly that it is now considered normal. In fact, when we don't feel restless, we call it 'boredom'.
To be bored is what the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre described as a state of having too much but not enough--this is very close to feeling restless. So even, it seems, our boredom is wrought with restlessness.
But being restless is not a healthy way of being. A lot of life can be missed when we are rushing around from one thing to the next. Like John Lennon said once, "Life is what happens when we're making plans."
Our world thrives on restlessness. How do you sell products? Make people restless to get them. How often do you watch an Apple conference or walk through an auto show, or wander around a mall and feel calm? No--branders and manufacturers know that if you are restless, if you feel you must have that product to be happy, then you will buy it. Dissatisfaction is a form of restlessness. And how do you fulfill dissatisfaction? You buy something that is designed, so they say, to fulfill that desire.
Our jobs keep us restless. Performing in our jobs demands a kind of restlessness: we want to outperform our colleagues, we want our company to outperform its competitor, and we want to outperform our neighbour in buying power. All of these desires keep us restless in our jobs; keep us awake at night on our mobile devices, or in front of our computers at the pool, or working weekends.
And what do we fill our time with in the meantime? More restlessness--only we call it unwinding. When we aren't working, we seek 'entertainment'. At its root, 'entertain' means 'to hold the attention of'. When you are being entertained, you are being held, arrested--by what? Good question. More desire. More restlessness.
So how do you remedy this? Is there a way of living that can, at least for a time, quell the restlessness, and offer you a place of freedom and well-being? Yes.
1. Stillness: If we aren't rushing somewhere, we feel unproductive, lazy; and yet, stillness is a vital part of being human. By this I don't mean sitting still and watching TV--no. Rather, to be still is to quiet the body, the mouth, and the mind. To be still means we are not seeking to feed ourselves with activity, media, conversation, even food. It simply means being. It's not that difficult. Some like to be still in the sun on a hot beach. Some like to sit in stillness on their back porch. Still others on a hammock. Some lying down in bed. Whatever it is, it's important to practice stillness.
2. Silence: Our world is so noisy. Now every inch of silence is filled with the bleep and bling of our mobile devices--those things we are most 'entertained' by in our modern world. Silence means not speaking. Many of us talk too much. And when we're not talking, we fill the silence with other people's talking--now it's Netflix yammering at us to no end. Seeking silence means finding that place in which there is little to no noise. Will you hear the wind? Hopefully. Will you hear birds? Perhaps. What if you live on a busy road? You can still have a semblance of silence. The key is to get away from it all--the noise, the idle chatter.
3. Calm: This isn't easy--restlessness, as I mentioned, is a big part of modern life. But if you seek stillness, and find moments of silence, you will be able to break from restlessness--at least for a period of time. You will find that natural state of be-ing. You will feel more human, more present for yourself, and more attentive to your life. You might see things in your life that cause you pain, or things that cause you great joy. You may find in those moments gratitude. You may realize there are things in your life that need to change. This is all good. Often we are restless because there are things inside us--pain, hurt, bad memories--that haven't been dealt with. There are many forms of professional help for such experiences. But if you are never present for yourself you'll never be able to touch those painful experiences long enough to realize you need to deal with them.
Try it. It's not easy. Finding moments for stillness, silence, and calmness are very difficult. But it's important to try. Will you fail at it sometimes? Certainly. Will it seem like a waste of time? Most likely. But when you take time to do it, will you find that break from restlessness and an opening into real living? Yes.
Our lives are lived a moment at a time. It's in those moments of stillness, silence, and calmness that some of the greatest moments of our lives, of being human, can be lived.
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