Is Interrupting Always Rude? You Won't Believe The Answer

Do you consider it rude when someone interrupts? Are you an interrupter of conversation? For many people, interrupting someone is considered rude; however, there are cultures in which interruptions are a sign of engagement in the conversation. Some call this distinction 'wait' versus 'interrupt' cultures. 

Case in point: over the past 20 years, my wife and I have had innumerable conversations, and it was not until recently when we discovered our differences in communication. She is European, and I am Canadian; she comes from a culture in which interrupting is part of being engaged, and I from one in which interrupting is considered rude. One night, we were at a get-together, and she interrupted me while I was making a point. I didn't think much of it--I'm used to it by now--but for some reason, it bothered her. Once home, we had a lengthy conversation in which we realized this cultural difference--it did wonders for our communication, and that between me and her family. In conversation with them, I could expect to be interrupted, and, in turn, I could interrupt--how liberating! In fact, I have realized this cultural difference in others who tend to interrupt while engaged in a conversation; and I have noticed those for whom waiting is the default. 

There is plenty of documentation on this subtle yet polarizing style of communication. One study revealed that French speakers use interruption more frequently than American speakers. In the same study, Chinese tended to interrupt more frequently than Fins and Dutch. 

But interrupting cultures are not only found in different human cultures. You might find an interrupting culture at your work place, possibly originating at the executive level. If it's a creative company, you might also find interruption to be routine, especially when new ideas are being kicked around. This typically offends those who are not used to interrupting, while fuelling those who thrive on it. The key here is if you're from a waiting culture, it's important that you learn to interrupt.

So, is interrupting someone during a conversation rude? Well, the first question to ask is whether the person speaking is an interrupter him/herself. Secondly, you can ask about the context: if you're in a waiting culture, then interrupting will be considered rude; however, if you're in an interrupting culture, then it's all good. 

Now, what about interrupting in a waiting culture? Perfect. What better way to practice interrupting than in a culture of waiters?