Why Procrastination Is So Easy And Getting Down To Business So Hard

To procrastinate is defined by Webster's as to put something off intentionally and even habitually; but a better way to understand it is not doing what you think you should be doing, as noted in a lucid article in the New Yorker by James Surowiecki. 

Procrastination is one of the easiest things in life to do, and yet can be terribly stressful (for instance when you have a deadline and are glued to your Wii player) and even costly (such as when you take months to file your income taxes and have to pay a larger fee). Whenever you have something important to do, you can always put it off for a period of time--until you can't put it off any longer. 

Why procrastination is so easy, and getting down to business so hard 

1. We often have to do things we don't want to do: This is a simple one. You've got to put a report together and you're totally uninspired, not interested, and the Leaf game is on TV. Or you are obligated to cook dinner that evening, but you would much rather surf the internet for the umpteenth time. You need to purchase and write your mother in-law a birthday card and find yourself instead cleaning your coffee maker. 

2. We have at our finger tips unlimited choice: It would be easier if we didn't have so many things vying for our time at a given moment. As humans with free will, we can instantly think of innumerable things to do with our time--rather, that is, than that which we think we should be doing.

3. Technological distractions: How many times have I sat down to 'get something done' when "Bling!"--a notification goes off from one of my favourite news feeds, and down I go into an abyss of current events; or, worse yet, a Facebook notification that someone's just commented on one of my posts, and down I go into the social media abyss. Technology is brutal for trying to get things done. For real hard tasks, I will turn off any connection to the internet--and if I have to, will work in ink. 

4. Fear: In Steven Pressfield's The War of Art, procrastination is the Grim Reaper of productivity--he calls it resistance. We resist for many reasons, but when we're having to get down to creative work or work that requires vulnerability, our fear can cause us to procrastinate. Every time we get down to a creative task, we are struck by what we want to create and what we believe others want us to create. This tension can cause anxiety which we try to overcome through avoidance and deflection, namely procrastination.

5. The gap between effort and reward: If you are to perform a task whose deadline is in the distant future, you're more likely to procrastinate on it. It's like the person who has several months to complete a major report and ends up freaking out the night before trying to put it together. 

Can anything good come out of procrastination? 

Enhanced productivity: There was a paper I read once that argued for a practice called productive procrastination, which involves getting something done when you should be getting something else done, like completing a major report when you should be completing a different one; or like vacuuming out your car when you should be preparing dinner for guests.

Greater inspiration: Some things just take longer to cook up. If you are pushing the boundaries of an idea or a body of research, the answers could take much longer than you or a superior are prepared to admit. Some questions take years to answer; some projects don't come by banging your head against the wall but walking away from it and waiting for a moment of clarity. 

Higher performance: There are times when you just need a fire lit under you to get a job done. I find that when the pressure's on, I'm at a heightened state of focus and creativity. Some people need this--they feed off it. The problem is that it can come back to bite you: you could miss a deadline, buckle under the pressure, or just not put in your best effort. 

If you're a procrastinator there is a technique you can try, called the Pomodoro Technique, which involves choosing a specific task and setting a timer to work on it for 25 minutes, followed by short breaks. If a distraction enters your mind, jot it down and keep working. After longer periods of work, you can take a longer break. The whole purpose of the technique is to shorten that effort/reward gap that often breeds procrastination. 

The only problem is you first have to choose to work on that task--but what if you...

5 Ways To Work Harder, Get Better, And Avoid The Perils Of Success

Most people want to succeed in life. They want to have dreams and accomplish them. There are few who want to be failures. Now there is importance in failure, which I have written about previously and will do so again in later posts; nevertheless, that is not my focus here. 

We live in a karaoke culture--a stage culture in which overnight success is a reality show away. It is the age of the ordinary person having an extraordinary night on stage and becoming 'successful', which means a mere moment in the sun followed by a plummet back into the abyss of the ordinary--the reality show giving way to the big reality check. 

Who wants success anyway? Hasn't anyone read the Catastrophe of Success by Tennessee Williams? Published in the New York Times on November 30, 1947, it is a letter by the great writer lamenting the success of the Glass Menagerie and how it nearly destroyed his life. Living in a hotel in New York waited on hand and foot left him listless, cynical, lazy. He underwent several eye surgeries simply to have an excuse for gauze to be put over his eyes so he didn't have to look at what his life had become. In the process of success, he had lost the work ethic and diligence and authenticity that got him there in the first place. Here's Williams himself:

"I was not aware of how much vital energy had gone into this struggle until the struggle was removed. I was out on a level plateau with my arms still thrashing and my lungs still grabbing at air that no longer resisted. This was security at last.

I sat down and looked about me and was suddenly very depressed. I thought to myself, this is just a period of adjustment. Tomorrow morning, I will wake up in this first-class hotel suite above the discreet hum of an East Side boulevard and I will appreciate its elegance and luxuriate in its comforts and know that I have arrived at our American plan of Olympus. Tomorrow morning when I look at the green satin sofa I will fall in love with it. It is only temporarily that the green satin looks like slime on stagnant water."

Eventually Williams left New York for a small part of Mexico where the swimming was good, and he could live without being noticed; a place he could find the hard work and struggle that created the famous play that nearly destroyed his life. He wrote another work that become his famous "A Streetcar Named Desire"

What's William's main point? We need hard work, menial effort, and a life of relative discomfort to accomplish our goals. That it is in the hard daily work that we find our authentic selves. We need a place of routine and discipline that the place of final arrival can shake out of us, leaving us slaves to our past success rather than pushing our boundaries into greater ideas and personal expression. 

"There's no substitute for hard work," a professor of mine once said--those words changed my life. Persistence, tenacity, sweat and tears--without them we don't create, we simply conform. 

So with this in mind, here are a few take-aways:
 

1. Discipline yourself: If the only time you can get real work done is at 5am, this is your top appointment of the day. Does it suck? Sure. Could you use the extra sleep? Maybe. Does it mean you can't stay out late with the boys every night? Yup. But what would you rather have, the accomplishment of your goals or yet another beer? If getting up at 5am requires you to get to sleep at no later than 11 o'clock, then that's your new bedtime.

2. Befriend discomfort: We are bound by comfort in these modern times. In fact, if we don't have comforts--all of them at our whim--then we think there's something wrong with us. But that's not the life of hard work. This kind of work requires discomfort, sacrifice, pain. If you want to sit on the beach your whole life, that's your choice--but chances are, there's something nagging inside you left unfulfilled. When J.D. Salinger went to write, he put on cover-alls and carried a lunch box into his writing room--he knew the struggle of hard work.

3. Don't compromise: Your work will require something very specific at each moment--how authentically you adhere to that demand will determine the quality of work. If you compromise for one moment to save time or effort, you're hooped--and you'll know it. If your work demands 4 iterations and you only give it 2, you'll know it. 

4. Forget the last success: You're only as good to the public--whatever that is: boss, co-workers, clients--as your last success; but you're only good to yourself as your next effort. Have you earned something or received accolades for something you accomplished? Good. Now move on. Get up that next morning with the eye of the tiger, the discipline to create again. 

5.  Become who you are: Think of Michelangelo's David: that massive piece of marble that no one else wanted, that the majority of sculptors shunned for being too foreboding, too difficult, too massive to take a chisel to--but not Michelangelo. To create David, he famously claimed, he had to remove everything that wasn't David from that mass of marble. The story goes that he went at that piece of stone with a vengeance: bleeding from his hands, sweating from his body, his boots left undone for weeks on end, until the sculpture was completed. In this effort, the sculpture of David wasn't the only thing to become--the artist, through the toil, became further himself too. One interpretation of David's gaze in the sculpture is that toward the great Goliath: he faces the beastly cannibal with determination and confidence. This is how we ought to approach the Goliath of our work, ourselves, our failures and success each day.

6 Ways You Can Find Forgiveness That Will Totally Change Your Life, Health, And Relationships

A man languishes on the couch--for days. He's listless, riddled by chronic pain. Everything hurts. Mentally, he's been depressed for months. He's on sick leave from work, and doesn't know when or if he'll ever return. He's all bound up in anger, bitterness, remorse--a relationship with a family member broke down, and ended in hostility; things were said that shouldn't have. The man has been angry ever since--can't sleep, can't eat, can't work. His life is closing in on him. Why is he feeling so bad? Why is his life going down the toilet when the family member is still attending all the family parties, Facebooking his Caribbean vacations, and appearing like the father of the century? The anger burns. 

Here's how to make a monkey trap: take a coconut, cut a hole in it--just big enough for a monkey to stick its hand in. Tie the trap to a tree, and wait. Here's what you'll notice: a monkey will smell the coconut in the trap, stick its hand in the hole and grab a handful of delicious pulp. But, when it attempts to pull its hand out, it gets stuck--the hole is only big enough for a hand, not a fist. As the hunters are storming after it wielding spears, the monkey is trapped. All it has to do is let go of the coconut, and pull its hand free. 

Forgiveness is an easy thing to talk about, but its exceptionally difficult to do. When we do not forgive, when we hold grudges against others, we suffer mentally and physically. According to Dr. Karen Swartz of the Johns Hopkins Mood Disorder Clinic, chronic anger can put you into a fight or flight response, which can lead to numerous physical ailments: high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and rapid heart beat; and these increase the risk of heart disease, diabetes, and depression.  There's a lot of research being done on the importance of how we control our thoughts. When we are in toxic thinking--holding grudges, staying angry, thinking bitterly about someone--our whole being is impacted. When, however, we let go of toxic thinking and embrace the errors of others and find ways to reconcile, we can be freed from mental and even physical toxicity. 

What do you have to do to forgive? Here are a few things to think about:

1. Forgiveness is a matter of the heart: When we think with our mind, we think in analytical terms. We think about pros and cons, checks and balances, and cost benefit analysis. When someone offends us, we hold it in our minds: we replay the incident(s), and set up courts of law in our imaginations taking the role of the prosecuting attorney. But, when we think with our hearts, when we listen to our hearts, we experience something else: the heart wants communion with others; the heart wants to experience joy; the heart wants to childishly (or child-like-ly) forgive, the heart wants to trust. Forgiveness first and foremost is a matter of the heart; and until you look into your heart and find what it wants, you'll never be able to forgive.

2. Forgiveness takes humility: It's hard to admit to being wrong by being in the right. It's difficult to swallow what you feel the other deserves and embrace them anyway. It takes tremendous courage to give someone a second, third, umpteenth chance when you've been hurt so often before. It takes humbling yourself, swallowing your pride, and reconciling.

3. Ask forgiveness yourself: One of the big problems with finding forgiveness is we think we're innocent; and when the other shifts blame to us, we become defensive--we dig our heels in deeper into resentment and don't let go. But what if you approach the person whose done you wrong willing to admit your own wrong? What if you lower yourself to the person who's wronged you--or you feel has wronged you--and shift the blame to yourself? It's often that conflicts take two to tango. Admitting you were just as wrong in the tango can go a long way to releasing resentment and can quicken the healing process.

4. Seek help from others: Often we dwell alone in our resentment. We don't know how to go about the process of forgiveness, and are thus impeded further from entering into it, which drives us back into dwelling alone in resentment. Seeking out someone you trust to talk to about the situation is important. Seeing a therapist or a wise friend can help you bounce your feelings off someone else, and even put a plan together for how you are going to forgive the other. This takes vulnerability, so it's important you are careful with whom you trust in this regard.

5. Don't expect a particular outcome: Just because you choose to forgive someone, doesn't necessitate that all will be well with that person--all you're ensuring is you are no longer going to hold onto the resentment and anger. In fact, it could be that the person continues to hurt you, or refuses to re-enter the relationship, or even ridicules you for letting go. It could be that healing comes when you leave the situation or create distance or boundaries between you and other. Having a good therapist, depending on the intensity or complexity of the relationship, could be very helpful. You can choose to forgive, but you can't force the other to choose to forgive.

6. Remember your own forgiveness: We all hurt people at one time or another. We have all faced those times when we were recipients of forgiveness. We've all been forgiven. This should give us pause: How can we refuse to forgive the other when we have been forgiven? How can we withhold forgiveness from someone else, when others haven't withheld it from us? Knowing you've been forgiven can open the door to your own desire to forgive. 

Let's get back to the man. As he's languishing on the couch, he watches a talk by a woman, a neuroscientist, who shows images of a brain in a state of forgiveness versus that of one in resentment. He hears about the health ramifications of resentment, which explains his seemingly deathly illness. He knows what he has to do. He looks in his heart: it wants to forgive, it wants to trust, it wants to reach out to the other let go of the past--even reconcile. He realizes he doesn't' have to live in the anger anymore. He makes a decision for reconciliation. The moment he does, the moment he chooses forgiveness, he begins to feel better. He even finds within his heart compassion and empathy for the other--he sees the other as a person, just like him, with stresses, pressures, vulnerabilities, brokenness. 

He forgives. 

Within a day, he's off the couch; within a week, he's back to work; and that Easter, he and the family member share the first hug in years. His heart is full, soft, healed. 

This is forgiveness. 

10 Easy Ways To Prepare For That Major Storm Warning You've Been Totally Dreading

Power outages can happen anytime, especially during ice and other storms. In a previous post, I provided tips on how to survive a nuclear attack, which incidentally can cause power outages (among other, more dreadful things). You can also check out how to prep for a hostage siege.

So let's say you're checking the weather, and there's a storm warning in effect that forecasts possible power outages, what do you do? How do you prepare? Here are a few tips:

1. Gather anything that creates light: Get your flashlights, candles, even glow sticks from the Dollar Store. Keep them in one place that can be easily accessed. If you have time, you can find headlamps at Costco and other such stores for such a time--nothing like being down a hand when you have to move around the house.

2. Get plenty of water: You should be stockpiling water in your home in case of emergency. If you don't have any, go get some. Bottled water has a pretty long shelf life, so you can keep it around. You should be storing a gallon (3.75 litres) of water per day per person for up to 3 days. 

3. Have a First Aid Kit: This is important, especially if you're moving around a dark house. I've covered the basics of a first aid kit in another post, but the basics should be bandages, gauze, tape, scissors, isopropyl alcohol, and pain medication.

4. Batteries: There's nothing worse than going to fire up your flashlight and you're out of batteries. Keep a supply of them on-hand, preferably with your first aid kit and other sources of alternative light. 

5. Keep gas tank full: In the event you need to go somewhere or travel up to your folks or in-laws where there is electricity, it's important you're gassed up. In emergency situations, you never know what it will be like at the pump--you could end on the wrong side of a gas shortage. This is good advice for any emergency situation.

6. Stock up on non-perishables: You're going to need to eat. Canned food can work. If you have a gas stove, then good on you. If you have an electrical stove, then you might be eating peanut butter for the next two days--could be worse. Add some chips and crackers to the peanut butter and you're golden. Energy bars are handy things to keep around that have a longer shelf life and can deliver quick energy. Simpler fare can be canned fruits, vegetables, and tuna--just make sure you have a mechanical can opener. If you have a propane BBQ or hibachi, you'll be eating well. 

7. Heat source: The simplest way to stay warm is to layer clothing and blankets. If you have a hibachi grill or propane camping stove, you're good, but don't use them indoors. 

8. Good tools: A good multi-tool, like a Leatherman Wingman or a basic Swiss Army knife will be invaluable during such outages and other such emergency situations. You'll want a couple on hand in the house and in your vehicle. Check out my MacGuyver survival kit for more information.

9. Stay informed: If you don't have a battery-powered short-wave radio, get one. You need to stay informed of any changes in weather, electrical power, etc. If cell phone towers are damaged during a storm, you'll be able to use neither your mobile device, nor computer for wifi. 

10. Get books: Yes, there are games, sing-a-longs, and other things to keep you entertained, but going old school with candles and books is a great way to spend your time. Here are 5 books that are simple must-reads. Just imagine if anything were to happen long term to the internet: how would you learn? We've relied so heavily on ebooks that we've only got a single point of failure for human learning--think about it...

Of Millennials, Gen X'ers And Withered Family Ties

A recent article in the New York Post claimed that Millennials are the stressed out generation--a far cry from my generation (Gen X) known as the slacker generation. Millennials are made up of those who are born from roughly the 1980s to early 2000s. According to one study by the American Psychology Association (APA), there isn't a notable increase in stress claims in Millennials (39%) compared to Gen X'ers (36%) and Boomers (33%). In that same study, Millennials and X'ers complain of being stressed by work, money, and job stability, while Boomers tend to complain of stress about health personal and familiar health issues. 

One explanation is that Millennials are more anxious because they lack the close geographic family ties that earlier generations enjoyed and perhaps even took for granted. Academics such as Jean Twenge of San Diego State University made this observation in her studies of why stress is at an 80-year high.

"She thinks the primary problem is that “modern life doesn’t give us as many opportunities to spend time with people and connect with them, at least in person, compared to, say, 80 years ago or 100 years ago. Families are smaller, the divorce rate is higher, people get married much later in life."

Indeed, there are many complexities when attempting to make claims about family life. Nevertheless, Twenge maintains this tension between the independence of modern times and the overly close proximities of 80 to 100 years ago. As families move more toward individualism and independence, we are seeing a possible correlation with higher rates of anxiety and depression, as Karol Markowicz of the New York Post explains:

"But the real change comes in the freedom of movement that has made it easy for people to leave families far behind. Studies have shown that having limited family in close proximity can lead to anxiety and depression."

As one who lives thousands of kilometres away from parents, I resonate with Twenge's observation. I have realized over the years there is something very important about having close family ties, especially in times of struggle or hardship. Even in my 40s I still look forward to holiday meals at my aunt's house when most of my extended family is together and we're sharing a meal--even so, it's not the same when my parents and brother aren't present. Nevertheless, there's a sense of connectedness to a broader community, to family, that makes me feel more human. The same feeling is present when I spend the week-end with my in-laws, sharing food and conversations together, even about the two no-nos like religion and politics. I feel a sense of rootedness and connectedness--a sense that I am going through life with these people, and, to a large degree, they have my back and I have their's. 

But there is a pervasive mentality that we want our kids to be independent, competent, leadership-driven; we want them to get out into the big bad world and blaze their own trails. And if that means moving thousands of kilometres away to a booming country or province, then that's just part of it--no pain, no gain. We want our kids to go to the best universities, which often means leaving the cities and towns we live in. If my child got accepted tomorrow to Stanford, I'd be tempted to send them there. 

Indeed, according to the Post article, almost half of Millennials live away from their hometown: 

One recent survey found that about half of millennials live away from their hometown. That’s a significant number. A different study found 85 percent of adults 45 and older think it’s very important to live near their kids or grandkids. Boomers have figured out the happiness that comes with living near family.

This phenomenon is not surprising, given the growth of cities, the rise of competitiveness, and the illusion that climbing the corporate ladder will lead to greater happiness. 

In Richard Florida's book Who's Your City, the famous urban theorist argues for the importance of moving to cities that have higher levels of innovation and creativity, even if that means leaving your home town. According to his research, you'll be happier, have a better job, make more money, and have greater social mobility. What we might be seeing in the APA study cited above is the unintended consequence of that way of thinking and living. 

We often believe that Skype and FaceTime will mitigate the yawning abyss separating us from our children, or from our parents and siblings. We falsely believe that texting a number of times per day can fill the void. But it doesn't. 

We often believe that our children want success at all costs; that we're doing them a service by encouraging them to take work elsewhere, or travel across the globe to attend the London School of Economics or some other prestigious school. 

We often believe that with greater independence comes higher levels of joy and fulfillment. We fall into the assumption that climbing the social-economic ladder of modern society will make them happy, regardless of the price. 

But what happens--young people move away from their home towns, take jobs in other provinces or states or countries, and start having families; and then grandparents see grandchildren only sparsely, and the family ties are stretched beyond efficacy. Families have to choose between flying out for a big birthday, a wedding, or a funeral, especially with the high cost of flying these days--they can't blithely drive to see their children anymore and vice versa. It becomes more complicated than that. 

We can most certainly claim other factors to the high stress levels of the younger generations: technological advancement, social upheaval, political-nuclear tensions, the breakdown of religious belief, the brittleness of cultural interaction, and so on. But perhaps this is precisely the point: that in a world rife with tension and unpredictability, where systems and norms and traditions are breaking down, there ought to be greater emphasis placed on those natural family ties that provide a strong sense of kinship, rootedness, and identity. 

Why Google Will Get Self-Driving Cars To Market Faster Than You Think

Technology is known for speeding things up--just think about how fast you process things in a given day with your mobile devices, or how fast you get news, movies, and other kinds of media, or speed at which you can connect 'face-to-face' with someone across the world. 

Now we're seeing the emergence of autonomous vehicles at a quicker pace--thanks to both technology and the leaders of the big companies that create it. 

Google is now urging US Congress to help get self-driving cars on the roads faster, as this quote from their prepared testimony states:

We propose that Congress move swiftly to provide the secretary of transportation with new authority to approve life­saving safety innovations. This new authority would permit the deployment of innovative safety technologies that meet or exceed the level of safety required by existing federal standards, while ensuring a prompt and transparent process."

One of the big issues impeding this process is there are various safety standards in place that are impeding the adequate testing and development of these vehicles. If rules aren't able to stretch and bend to accommodate self-driving cars, then how in the world will they be adequately tested and readied for general use? For instance, just last year California put out a law barring self-driving vehicles from the roads if not equipped with with human controls and a driver. Moreover, Google maintains there isn't a set of unified rules across states that would allow for travel to be adequately tested across long distances. A big argument is that human rules simply don't need to be applied to self-driving cars because, well, they're not operated by humans. But there may be light at the end of the tunnel for Google.

According to Streetwise Journal, "In January this year, the US National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) said it could waive some safety rules to allow more driverless cars on the roads as part of the push to speed up their development." The NHTSA also stated it would put safety rules in place for testing self-driving vehicles within the next six months.

But why this rush? Do you not find it interesting that Google would go before US Congress to somehow strong arm the NHTSA into compliance? Google's answer is they want to get their vehicles to market quickly--but in whose interest? Are we ready for self-driving vehicles and the world it will create? Are we ready for the transportation industry to be shaken up this quickly? Are we ready for insurance policies to be adjusted? Are we ready for the mass number of jobs lost as cabbies are forced to find new means of employment? It sounds trivial, but this will shake things up considerably, as I've written before.

And why is Google wanting to move so fast it needs US Congress to get involved? What are its plans? Trying to preempt a big strike from Apple and its emergent iCar? Could be. There have been some interesting things happening around some of Apple's R&D plants that suggest a vehicle of sorts.  Who knows. What we know about Apple is that it is poised to destroy major car manufacturers--but Google will want to be first in that disruption.

I enjoy driving. I enjoy the freedom of getting behind the wheel and driving to my destination. I like the feel of the gas under my foot, and winding roads, and cruising along the left lane of the highway--even in my van! Mind you, I have thought many times of having a driver take me around so I could spend my time doing other things; however, there's something about the freedom of the open road and the ability to navigate my way unmitigated or facilitated by a computer. 

As I've written before, what we'll see from self-driving vehicles is a target on the backs of human operators--that self-driving vehicles will prove to be safer, and thus a solution that will become ubiquitous. It will then be more expensive to insure a human operator. Driving a vehicle will then be relegated to specialized tracks where you park your toys or rent out a human-operated vehicle for a period of time to feel what was commonplace only several years ago.

In this new world created and pushed by Google and Apple, driving a vehicle will be just another nostalgic experience like the smell of newspaper, the rap of typewriter keys on your finger-tips, or the sound of vinyl on a turn-table. A sweet memory of days gone by when humans took manual control of their lives.

9 Beautiful Ways To Get Your Children Hooked On Books--Readers Are Leaders

Well, the cat's out of the bag--so to speak: We've learned that many top executives of the largest technology companies in the world are not allowing their children to use technology. So there. Case closed. I don't know about you, but this is striking, like a drug dealer selling products that he would never let himself or his children come near. Steve Jobs was one of them. His children didn't know about the second generation iPad when it first came out and people, and their children, were popping their eyes out over it. You see, they know something we don't: that iPad, iPods, and anything resembling them, are highly addictive, impair healthy neuron development, and, when used unchecked, remove users from the real world (yes, tech executives believe in one). 

Kids love the library

What do these powerful and highly 'enlightened' tech executives allow their children to entertain themselves with? You got it--books. Yes, books. The question is, how? How do these people get their children to read books, and shun the temptations of YouTube, Netflix, and iTunes? It's easier than you think.

Reading remains a critical part of learning. I heard one story of a man who holds a Ph.D. in Astronomy, and has written several critical books on the science. He was homeschooled. When asked if his parents were scientists and academics as well, he replied, "Oh no. My parents were hippies--didn't teach me much. They just had lots of books lying around that I sat around all day reading." When your children are turned on to reading, the world opens up to them. They explore more passionately, ask more questions, and align their learning with their experiences in a more passionate way. 

Below are some ways you can turn your kids on to books, and have them reading better than ever. 

J.R.R Tolkien

1. Audiobooks: This may sound technological, and in some ways a good case can be made for it, but it is just such an amazing way to turn kids on to books that it demands mention here. If you have a tv screen in your van or SUV, turn it off, and put on an audiobook--you won't believe the difference. If your children are 6 and up, put on the Chronicles of Narnia or Lord of the Rings. If they're younger, Geronimo Stilton is a favourite among kids, as well as Judy Moody and the spin-off series Stink. By hearing the English language read out loud, they're learning to connect words with images in their imagination, rather than a screen making those images for them. Some audiobooks can be found free from places like OpenCulture. Libraries are also amazing resources of audiobooks. 

2. Move the TV: Most houses have tv(s) in the main rooms, and even in the children's rooms. If you want your kids to turn on to books, move the TVs to less used/less accessible parts of the house. If you have multiple TVs, consider giving them away or selling them. A good place for a TV is in the basement where it's dark and where kids don't really like hanging out. If you have TVs in your children's rooms, seriously consider removing them. 

Readers are leaders...

3. Buy books: Those tech executives who disallow their children from using technology have a lot of books in their houses--and beyond that, there's nothing really available for them to entertain themselves with. If you haven't already, you've got to get books in the house. The library is an amazing place to get books. I know families who go at least once a week, and bring home stacks and stacks of books on every subject imaginable. Thrift stores are amazing places to buy used books and begin a book wall in your home. Do you find your interests are limited? No problem: just buy those books that seem interesting. There are countless lists online for the best children's books. You'll want to find those classic titles like The Black Stallion and Robinson Crusoe and Huckleberry Finn. The more the better. What else will your kids do with all that free time off technology?

4. Leave books lying around: Our kids love books--during the day, they're reading nonstop. It's not uncommon for us to have to take books away at the dinner table. And on car trips--even short ones--books are being hauled into the van by the arm-full. We leave books lying around all over the house, especially picture books--animals, artists, bugs, it doesn't matter; what matters is that they're bold and colourful and pique the kids' interests. The great Canadian author Mordecai Richler used to leave books lying around his house, and even at the bedroom door of his kids' rooms with little notes like "You should look into these..." It's a way of encouraging them to read without shoving it down their throats. 

5. Read to your kids: There's nothing like reading to your children, especially good literature. When they are listening to you, they're listening to language at its best. If you're reading classics like the Chronicles of Narnia or The Hobbit, they're engaging in a magical worlds richer and more complex than they would by watching a movie. This activity will also build a bond between you and your children, for there's something timeless about nestling up with your family over a good story. An added benefit is you'll be stimulated too; your vocabulary will grow too; your desire to read will grow too. 

6. Let them see you read: Your kids will do what you do, not what you tell them to do. If you're telling them to lay off the technology and read more books, but they see you comatose between the covers for hours drooling over Fox News or Top Chef re-runs, that's what they'll do. But if you put hard limits on their technology, and they see you pouring over a 2000 page biography of Winston Churchill or War and Peace, that'll speak volumes! (Pardon the pun.) 

7. Readers are leaders: Have you heard this one? It's true. When you read, your expanding your vocabulary, conceptual awareness, historical consciousness, belief system, imagination; and all these are key to working with and creating with others. 

8. Never use as a punishment: One of the worst things I heard was a parent punishing her child by forcing her to read a book. Brutal. Talk about setting her up for never reading again. If anything, use books as punishment in the opposite way: when your child misbehaves, take their free reading time at night, or take their favourite books away. 

9. Let them read in bed: Some parents only let their kids read for a few minutes in bed before they turn out the lights. For me, if my children are engaged in a good book, I let them read till they're done. I don't put limits on it--I love to see them engaged in a good book. At night, it's not uncommon for me to put on audiobooks while they're getting ready to sleep--they love A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh and C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia. 

There's just way too much technology around. Take a tech inventory at your home: how many devices do you have, including phones, iPods, and TVs? How many books--actual palpable books--do you have in your home? Do your children have book shelves in their room; and, if so, are they for the books they're digging into or their stuffy collection. Nothing wrong with stuffies--if they're surrounded by good books. 

Give your kids the leg up on their future. Don't worry about tech literacy--one Google executive I read about admitted that his grade 5 daughter had never done a Google search before! They'll pick up technology when they're ready. Get their minds built up by and fuelled with good books. Surround them with books. Get them in your house and in your life--you won't regret it.

11 Questions You Are Probably Already Asking About The Future

We don't know what the future will hold, but we can build models of it, ask questions about it, create scenarios of it, and read up on its trends. Sci-fi can also help us out considerably. 

Here are 11 questions you should be asking about the future:

1. What will it mean to be human? Being human in 15-20 years will look a lot different. Already we are nearly glued to our mobile devices, and do almost everything online. We are also seeing the rise of transhumanism--the use of technology to advance human longevity--and opportunities for technology to radically enhance our lives. People are inserting chips into their hands as embedded ID devices. Where will all this go? Will we carry implants that allow us to upload information? We are seeing it happening already. 

2. Will I be driving a car? Sounds like a silly question--perhaps. But look at the rise of autonomous vehicles. Advancements in autonomous vehicles are moving very rapidly. In Germany we already have seen the first autonomous transport truck released on the Autobahn. But will we be driving? There is no reason to think we will. Autonomous vehicles will prove to be more reliable on the road than humans--alas, to err is human. In fact, it is not a stretch of the imagination to see a time in the near future in which human drivers will pay much higher insurance premiums than those carted around by computers. And this is all before the advent of the Apple car, which will most likely bring a user-friendliness to the whole technology and thus drive up its popularity.

3. Will we see a rise in surveillance? We are seeing social issues heating up all over the western world. People want to feel safe; and the best way is to give up privacy for advanced surveillance, such as what one sees in the UK. Already, much of our daily lives--given that we live in a virtual world of social networks--is recorded. In fact we've seen that our mobile phones already record a great deal of our lives that, if ever hacked into, one could use to literally clone us. As social tensions rise, we will see a rise in surveillance and a sharp decline in privacy.

4. Will we colonize Mars? If Elon Musk has anything to do with it, we will. But we have to come to an understanding of what we mean by 'we'. If by 'we' you mean humans in general, then yes. But if you mean by 'we' the whole of the human population of Earth, or anyone who wants, then the answer is likely no. With the current price of $6 Billion to get the first 4 people there, reaching the great red planet will be out of reach to the majority of Earthlings. However, it is very likely that in the next 10 years we will be reading about a colony being established there.

5. Will robots steal my job? If you are in a middle management position, it's likely. Robots are becoming more sophisticated and are already being used in numerous industries, including financial planning (yes--financial planning!). You will definitely need to continue learning, stretching, and thinking about how you'll stay viable over the next 10 years. The world of work is going to change radically as 5 million jobs will be lost to robots by 2020--and that's a modest number. 

6. What about killer robots? With the rise of technology comes the rise of technologies used to threaten and destroy in ways more devastating than ever. We are also seeing the possibility of rogue robots, i.e., robots programmed to deal safely with humans, but whose emergent intelligence and consciousness create a 'flip' in which humans are seen as a threat. Once this happens, it will be very difficult for us to defend against them. It is critical that AI designers maintain a strict code of ethics. Better yet, there would be limits to the kinds of questions scientists and AI designers can ask. 

7. Will I marry a robot? Sounds like a sick question--for some; yet there are all kinds of stories around the internet in which some people actually see a robot as a very good life-companion--at least this iteration of them, until they grow in super-intelligence and begin to subjugate. Some think they would make perfectly passively programmed mates who will put up with all their nonsense and cater to them hand-and-foot. In a world of selfies and egoists, this is unsurprising. Who wants a free human being when you can have a programmed machine? The question is, what will 'marriage' mean at that point?

8. What about Minority Report? We are already seeing behaviour-predictive software being introduced to a division of the Chicago Police Department; and we are already experiencing advertising catered to our tastes and surf habits online. We are thus not too far from 'mind-reading' technology being ubiquitously used as crime prevention. This relates to our surveillance question above. 

9. Will I live to 1000 years old? Some argue that the first 1000 year old human being has already been born. Many put a great deal of hope in the exponential growth of technology to add years to human life. Some argue for a linear model of longevity, namely that technology will add continuous years of life that will allow one to take advantage of ever-emerging technology; on and on it goes until one reaches 200, 300, ...n years old. 

10. What should my children learn? This is a very difficult question, and based on what you value. There are innumerable models of education, from teaching Latin and classic literature to teaching advanced innovation skills. It's very difficult to prepare children for a future we know little about, and for jobs that don't exist yet. However, while some things will indeed change, others simply won't, such as integrity, character, virtue, and one's moral responsibility to another--those universal to the human experience, and unlikely to change greatly in the future. 

11. Where do I put my hope? There are many places people will put their hope in the future: government, technology, machines, longevity, their social or religious group, family, and on and on. Where do you put your hope? This will remain one of the most pressing questions as we embark on a future that is largely unknown, and wrought with great opportunity and great risk.

If You Were Told The Minority Report Is Now A Reality, Would You Be Surprised?

How many years ago did you watch Tom Cruise in Minority Report and think, "Ya--as if that'll ever happen!" Well...

Chicago Police monitored by predictive algorithms?

We are in an age of big data, which is a fancy term for all the information we social networkers are hourly providing companies like Google and Facebook about our routines, our desires, our beliefs, our family lives, the foods we eat, and on and on. And what are Google and Facebook, and other companies like it, doing with this data? All kinds of things, including behaviour predictive software. 

It's simple: if you have large samples of people behaving in a certain pattern,

it's probable that those patterns will be followed in the future. And better yet, you can have sophisticated machines rapidly sorting through all that big data to make highly 'educated' predictions, or inferences, about that behaviour. 

One example of this is the Data Science Machine created by Max Kanter, a MIT graduate student in computer science, and his advisor, Kalyan Veeramachaneni, which can approximate human 'intuition' when it comes to data analysis." The article from Fastcodesign continues,

Using raw datasets to make models that predict things like when a student is most at risk of dropping a course, or whether a retail customer will turn into a repeat buyer, its creators claim it can do it faster and with more accuracy than its human counterparts.

"If you have large samples of people behaving in a certain pattern, it's probable that those patterns will be followed in the future."

Turn this to individuals, we already have people claiming that one's mobile phone carries so much data a clone of the user could be made simply by hacking into it. And with all the personal information posted on Facebook, and used in Google searches and other online activity, it isn't difficult to turn these algorithms toward individual human behaviour and predict a continuum of actions. In fact, that's precisely what the Chicago Police Department is doing with a new program to predict when an officer may respond aggressively toward a civilian.

Police will soon be watched by algorithms that try to predict behaviour, headlines an article by MIT Technology Review. It's an effort to improve relationships between police and citizens, but the process seems creepy at best. The Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department is working with researchers at the University of Chicago on the algorithms that will supposedly forewarn of against a spectrum of things from impolite traffic stops to fatal shootings. 

"Police will soon be watched by algorithms that try to predict behaviour."

I remember when I first watched Minority Report back in 2002. The concept of police able to predict a person's behaviour before it happened through advanced brain algorithms was stunning. How could such technology exist, I thought. How would these predictions be verified? What would prevent someone from being wrongly accused, or arrested too early? When would such technology break the tension between one's thoughts and one's actions? 

These same questions remain. While there is no question that big data is being gathered on human behaviour, creating programs as spurious as behaviour-prediction remains as concerning today as it did when millions were introduced to it by Tom Cruise. There remains a huge gap between what one could do and what one will actually do, regardless of complex algorithms. Humans are not machines running meagre software in which what happened yesterday is likely to happen today. We change. We have the power to grow, to modify our behaviour, to become better. In the same way, we have the ability to get into situations in which we act contrary to how we have responded in the past. We can fall prey to pressures and tensions that push us over the edge. This is the problem with such predictive algorithms: it foists the universal on the particular and turns it into a law--simple enough to do, but very difficult to verify, especially in court. 

In spite of what you might believe about behaviour-predictive software, there remains something just as troubling: that everyday we continue to fill the coffers of Google and Facebook, and other tech giants, with reams of data about our lives; and we're at the point now where we don't think twice about it. Having someone snoop through our purses or underwear drawers remains detestable, yet having third parties gather data on everything from what you eat to whom you have relations of various kinds with isn't even thought twice about. We have wittingly or unwittingly wandered into the transparent society, and, barring a major catastrophe from North Korea or otherwise, there's no turning back.

8 Ways To Become A Person Of Integrity

Character is very important in life. Your character is what underlies who you are. When you are alone, your character determines the choices you make; when you're with others, your character is what people see. 

An important part of character is integrity, which can be defined as the quality of being honest and fair. Integrity goes a long way in building a strong and good character; and the more integrity you display, the more you gain the trust and respect of others. 

Every aspect of our lives requires integrity: our jobs, our families, even our leisure time. If you are an artist or designer, you will want your work to show integrity--you want your work to be a result of honesty to yourself and to the medium you're working with. If you are a manager or executive, you will need to build a great team of people; and that can only be done when you have integrity. If you are a parent, your children will need to trust you; and the trust they have for you will only be a great as the integrity you show them.

As humans we are always in flux. We have the ability to change, to make different decisions, and to grow. If you are having difficulty with integrity, perhaps these tips will help you start toward change and growth. 

Here are some ways to grow in integrity:

1. Do what you say: There is the well-known saying, "Talk is cheap." Doing is the hard part. It's really easy to talk a big game, but are you willing to put the work into backing it up with action? When we make statements, when we tell people we are going to do something, when we agree to commit an action, we have to stick to it--simple as that. (The exception to the rule here, of course, is in committing a crime or immoral act). You will feel good about yourself and gain the respect of others when you back your words up with consistent action.

2. Be honest: Do you want to be known as the person who beats around the bush or one who is respected by speaking clearly? To have integrity means you stand for something--your words don't flow out of shaky ground. 

3. Know when to speak: There is a time for speaking and a time for remaining silent--and more often than not, silence is the best approach. Someone once said, "I am often ashamed by the things I say, but rarely ashamed at the things I didn't say." In fact, you can show more integrity when you don't speak often then when you do. Those who let their mouths flap all the time often find themselves in a world of trouble. The tongue is a small muscle, but can inflict great destruction.

4. Stand for something: We are seeing in our world today a great many people swept away by a lack of belief, and an overall sense that truth is just another word for opinion. Think about people who have changed history: they have had very strong beliefs--they stood for something. In a world of wishy-washy people and the loose beliefs of the masses, having a strong foot to stand on is critical to integrity; being true to yourself and having the courage of your convictions.

5. Flexibility: Standing strong for something is good; however, sometimes we are struck with new information and experiences that give us pause, and may even encourage us to change our beliefs. Do you allow yourself to reflect on your beliefs and tweak them with new information? There's a difference between this and being wishy-washy: when you are serious about how your beliefs are shaped, and take pains in understanding your world and your place in it, you walk with integrity; however, if you are just uncritically going with the crowd, you will lack integrity.

6. Learn: Growing is partly achieved through reading and learning. Integrity deals with what some call 'universals'--those values that impact all of us, such as justice, and love, and truth. To grow in such universals is to study them; to read what others have written about them and apply those ideas to your own life. What are the great sources for understanding love and justice? Where do you learn about friendship and service to others? Find those sources and read them and apply them to your life.

7. Maintain Order: Indeed, there can be an advantage to not showering for days and letting your work space clutter up beyond comprehension, but keeping yourself and your home and workplace orderly can be an amazing character booster. Some psychologists will be able to tell if someone is depressed by their persona appearance: is the person letting him/herself go, or looking after him/herself? Also, maintaining order speaks to others about you; it shows you care about your environment and your work. 

8. Confess when you mess up: You're going to make mistakes. You're going to let people down, fib once in a while, get busy and no-show, and on an on. It's ok. When things like that happen, it's best to confess what you did, apologize and move on. One of the best ways to end a matter when you've caused it is to ask for forgiveness. People want to be around someone who is fine with admitting wrong-doing and looking to make up. The social order may show otherwise, but those with integrity will appreciate it.

Is Interrupting Always Rude? You Won't Believe The Answer

Do you consider it rude when someone interrupts? Are you an interrupter of conversation? For many people, interrupting someone is considered rude; however, there are cultures in which interruptions are a sign of engagement in the conversation. Some call this distinction 'wait' versus 'interrupt' cultures. 

Case in point: over the past 20 years, my wife and I have had innumerable conversations, and it was not until recently when we discovered our differences in communication. She is European, and I am Canadian; she comes from a culture in which interrupting is part of being engaged, and I from one in which interrupting is considered rude. One night, we were at a get-together, and she interrupted me while I was making a point. I didn't think much of it--I'm used to it by now--but for some reason, it bothered her. Once home, we had a lengthy conversation in which we realized this cultural difference--it did wonders for our communication, and that between me and her family. In conversation with them, I could expect to be interrupted, and, in turn, I could interrupt--how liberating! In fact, I have realized this cultural difference in others who tend to interrupt while engaged in a conversation; and I have noticed those for whom waiting is the default. 

There is plenty of documentation on this subtle yet polarizing style of communication. One study revealed that French speakers use interruption more frequently than American speakers. In the same study, Chinese tended to interrupt more frequently than Fins and Dutch. 

But interrupting cultures are not only found in different human cultures. You might find an interrupting culture at your work place, possibly originating at the executive level. If it's a creative company, you might also find interruption to be routine, especially when new ideas are being kicked around. This typically offends those who are not used to interrupting, while fuelling those who thrive on it. The key here is if you're from a waiting culture, it's important that you learn to interrupt.

So, is interrupting someone during a conversation rude? Well, the first question to ask is whether the person speaking is an interrupter him/herself. Secondly, you can ask about the context: if you're in a waiting culture, then interrupting will be considered rude; however, if you're in an interrupting culture, then it's all good. 

Now, what about interrupting in a waiting culture? Perfect. What better way to practice interrupting than in a culture of waiters?