"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again.
Fail better."
- Samuel Beckett
I want to tell you something right now that might change your life: it's ok to fail. In fact, failing better can be the best way for you to recover your sense of self-efficacy, self-control, and self-confidence than trying not to fail at all.
Remember when you were a kid? Did you concern yourself with failing when you were scribbling around on your sheet of paper in school, or colouring outside the lines? Or how about when you danced or put on plays with your friends? It's likely you didn't think about failing at all--life was a big adventure, and you were centre stage; you were free.
And then something happened: you cared more about being judged than being yourself; you watched your back instead of shooting after that new horizon; you went from centre stage to stage left. And now, maybe you find yourself in a place in which failure is absolutely not an option. Feel good about that?
Here are reasons why failure is a good thing; something you need to embrace if you haven't already:
1. Failure pushes you beyond your comfort zone: If you are always comfortable, you're not learning very much. We learn when we're pushed against the wall and have to respond; when we've lost our moorings and have to find our way again.
2. Failure is a big giant you've got to slay: If you can slay the giant of failure, you break the giant of fear. Most people are so afraid of screwing up that they don't try anything new. Fear then runs amok in their lives. But what if failure is a good thing? What if you try to fail better? Afraid now? Probably not.
3. Success isn't what it's cracked up to be: There are many who have written about the destruction of success. One is Tennessee Williams who wrote the Catastrophe of Success, in which he laments his successes as a writer and playwright and yearns again for the day when he can shut down his hotel room of decadence and live on an island somewhere where he is unknown. Why? Because success made him soft and a conformist. When he's really on his game is when he's failing.
4. Failure means wrong and strong: My brother is a professional guitar player; and one night he was playing a gig with a bass player from L.A. who had worked with jazz legend Chic Corea, among others. When my brother mentioned to him before the show that he was nervous, the bass player replied, "Wrong and strong baby! That's how Chic taught us to play: when you play it wrong, play it strong!" This reminds me of another Jazz legend, Miles Davis. He was a tremendous perfectionist and one of the greatest musicians in history. And yet, his band members were not allowed to practice before the performance. Why? Because he wanted them to practice on stage during the performance, so that they'd be free to try new things and open up new avenues of playing. Davis understood the power of trying and failing and trying again.
5. Failure is being human: As humans, we screw up; we make mistakes. To err is human, to forgive is divine, as Alexander Pope made famous. Embedded in our human condition is mistake making, error-proneness. And isn't it interesting that error-proneness is all part of learning and growing? Embrace it and learn from it--mistakes are embedded in our DNA and part of our maturity.
6. Failure sets you free: The Chinese philosopher Chuang Tzu made an observation: Without pay, the archer's hand is steady; but offer money for a bulls eye and watch his hand quiver. When you are not afraid of failing, of loss, you are more confident. You know you will learn from your mistake and move on--you have nothing to lose. However, when you feel you've got something to lose, then your focus shifts away from what you ought to be doing. According to Bandura, those who are not afraid to fail, who are willing to learn from them, achieve greater things than those afraid of losing in the process.
7. It's all bananas anyway: Try this: with yourself, your family, your work colleagues, just change the name of 'failure' to something else, say 'bananas'. And think of your task, whatever it is, as something else, say milk. Whenever you make a mistake, you get a banana that then has to be exchanged at the store for milk--no big deal right?
8. Failure can be glorious: The rock n' roll band U2 went on tour once, the object of which was to get as near bankrupt as possible to ensure a) they were putting everything into it, and b) they were keeping their edge. According to Bono, Bono later said, "When we built Zoo TV, we were so close to bankruptcy that if five percent fewer people went, U2 was bankrupt. Even in our irresponsible, youthful and fatal disregard of such material matters, it was terrifying." Along similar lines, Bono has mentioned that U2 is most successful when they don't know what they're doing.
No comments:
Post a Comment