Life is hard and stressful sometimes. Whether watching frightening current events or having a difficult time at work or feeling the post-holiday financial crunch, we can come face to face with stress and anxiety. Sometimes the world seems grey, sometimes bleak, sometimes just too complex and too fast for our bodies and minds to handle. With ubiquitous mobile technology, we are rarely out of reach of the blistering speed of news stories, endless information, photos on Pintrest or Facebook, someone racking up contacts on Linkedin, and on and on it goes--world without end...
It's hard to think of ourselves existing outside of this world of current events, social media, and endless communication. It's hard to believe that we exist independently of all that seems to the world so important, when in reality, for a time, it may not be. It's hard to be present for ourselves, and those we care about when we feel weighed down by all that seems to be so bad in the world.
The truth is, there are ways to exist outside of those things that bring us anxiety and concern. There are ways to be in the moment, to be present for ourselves and others that can make us feel human and alive, and like there's more to life than what seems collectively so critical and important.
As I've pondered the world today, I've come up with a short list of things we can do when the weather seems too cold, the world too bleak, the future without much hope. Take a moment, a time out of time, to read them. My hope is as you read them, other ideas come to mind.
1. Go for a walk: Getting outside, away from phones and computers, and walking is a great way to be present for yourself, not to mention a very healthy way to get exercise and relieve stress. If there is a park nearby your home or work, stroll through it and observe the snow-clinging trees and the faint whistle of a bird. If you're in the city, wander past windows and stop into shops that seem inviting and off the beaten path--might be a culinary store that stirs your passion for cooking, or a used bookshop you've wanted to nose through but haven't given yourself the time. Walk. Feel the air through your lungs, the ground at your feet, your breath. You are alive.
2. Call someone: Phone someone you haven't talked to in a while: a distant brother or father, a friend you haven't had time to say hello to. Enjoy a catch-up conversation and let it go to whatever topics come to mind. Communication is a good thing; it makes you feel connected to another human being, and gets you away from the ruminations. If you trust this person, and you're having a rough day, share it with them--maybe they're having similar problems too, and the two of you can find solidarity.
3. Plan a date: Make plans to do something fun with the person you love: a dinner at a tucked away place, or just time spent at home cozied up on the couch watching a movie. Spend time with your loved one: talk to them, rub their feet, be present and fully available to them without the worries and spontaneous emails from work. Turn your phone off, and be in the moment.
4. Media fast: Just don't watch any news for a day, and if you like how it feels, extend it to another and another... If you're in news media professionally, maybe you don't have this luxury of a day, but it could be for an hour. The key is to get away from the current affairs with all its strife and politics and prattle, and find your life outside of it. It's funny: the world will continue without you being glued to all its twitter posts and video footage and news columns, and you'll be able to enjoy being a single individual, a human being. Try it--just for a day...
5. Play with your kids: We take our jobs and lives so seriously at times. We work late, and don't change out of our work clothes till we're ready to get into bed. We go from the long commute home to a quick meal, to crashing in front of the tv--more news, more stress--and into bed, probably with the tablet or our phones. The kids are perceived as more work and nuisance than as a remedy for our stress. Nothing like getting your old jeans on, and getting on the floor with them building train sets or reading books or getting outside, enjoying their laughter and innocence. Deep down, we're all kids; we want to play and have fun, regardless of how seriously we often take ourselves. Try it. If you haven't been with your kids for a few days, take time for them. Read them stories, or just hang out with them watching some goofy show--you'll feel connected to them and they to you.
6. Cozy up with a beverage of choice and a good book: The art of reading is one of life's great pleasures. I often read serious stuff, but recently opened a book by the spy novelist John le Carre and have found something special. It feels good when the weather's howling and cold to get cozy in bed with a hot tea or glass of wine and enjoy a good book--nothing too serious, but engaging enough to heighten your joy. If sleep is what you want, then the best kind of sleep-inducing books are those that are dry but interesting, long winded but engaging enough to keep you reading until the book hits you in the nose signalling it's time to put the darn thing down and drift to sleep.
7. Write: I've suggested this in previous posts, and it is one of the things that is so basic to the human experience, but a lost art in our modern times, I'm afraid. Often we walk around with things all bottled up inside: stresses, worries, anxieties, hopes, dreams, things people said to us that triggered emotions, etc. The best way to work through them, besides talking to a therapist, is simply write them down. It's simple: take a sheet of paper and a pen, and write whatever comes to mind for 15 minutes. If you want to get fancy, light a candle and play baroque music--it'll put you in a state of flow and will ignite your thoughts and feelings. Keep your writings in a folder somewhere private, and return to this practice anytime you need to--preferably every day.
8. Work out: Get on the treadmill, lift some weights, get to a gym, run the block, ride your bike in the snow, get to the yoga studio, whatever it is for you, just do it. The endorphins alone will make you feel amazing. It's a drag, and it's easier to avoid than take the first step to doing it, but forcing yourself will pay off.
9. Make or buy a healthy smoothy: Sometimes when I'm feeling like crap, the best thing is a fresh carrot apple juice with extra extra ginger, other times its a shot of wheatgrass. A good healthy smoothy will make you feel amazing and give you vitamins you might be lacking. Maybe for you, instead, it's a caramel macchiato. Like the Woody Allen movie, whatever works.
The importance in all of these suggestions (and indeed there are many many more) is to step away from the perpetual stresses of life for a moment of humanity; to feel human, to be alive. When we feel alive and human we can return to our busy lives and loved ones with greater clarity and care. When we feel alive, we are better able to deal with stress and doubts and worries. We can realize there is more to life than the suffering and pain and anxiety of our world.
We are human. We are alive. We are here.
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