Character is very important in life. Your character is what underlies who you are. When you are alone, your character determines the choices you make; when you're with others, your character is what people see.
An important part of character is integrity, which can be defined as the quality of being honest and fair. Integrity goes a long way in building a strong and good character; and the more integrity you display, the more you gain the trust and respect of others.
Every aspect of our lives requires integrity: our jobs, our families, even our leisure time. If you are an artist or designer, you will want your work to show integrity--you want your work to be a result of honesty to yourself and to the medium you're working with. If you are a manager or executive, you will need to build a great team of people; and that can only be done when you have integrity. If you are a parent, your children will need to trust you; and the trust they have for you will only be a great as the integrity you show them.
As humans we are always in flux. We have the ability to change, to make different decisions, and to grow. If you are having difficulty with integrity, perhaps these tips will help you start toward change and growth.
Here are some ways to grow in integrity:
1. Do what you say: There is the well-known saying, "Talk is cheap." Doing is the hard part. It's really easy to talk a big game, but are you willing to put the work into backing it up with action? When we make statements, when we tell people we are going to do something, when we agree to commit an action, we have to stick to it--simple as that. (The exception to the rule here, of course, is in committing a crime or immoral act). You will feel good about yourself and gain the respect of others when you back your words up with consistent action.
2. Be honest: Do you want to be known as the person who beats around the bush or one who is respected by speaking clearly? To have integrity means you stand for something--your words don't flow out of shaky ground.
3. Know when to speak: There is a time for speaking and a time for remaining silent--and more often than not, silence is the best approach. Someone once said, "I am often ashamed by the things I say, but rarely ashamed at the things I didn't say." In fact, you can show more integrity when you don't speak often then when you do. Those who let their mouths flap all the time often find themselves in a world of trouble. The tongue is a small muscle, but can inflict great destruction.
4. Stand for something: We are seeing in our world today a great many people swept away by a lack of belief, and an overall sense that truth is just another word for opinion. Think about people who have changed history: they have had very strong beliefs--they stood for something. In a world of wishy-washy people and the loose beliefs of the masses, having a strong foot to stand on is critical to integrity; being true to yourself and having the courage of your convictions.
5. Flexibility: Standing strong for something is good; however, sometimes we are struck with new information and experiences that give us pause, and may even encourage us to change our beliefs. Do you allow yourself to reflect on your beliefs and tweak them with new information? There's a difference between this and being wishy-washy: when you are serious about how your beliefs are shaped, and take pains in understanding your world and your place in it, you walk with integrity; however, if you are just uncritically going with the crowd, you will lack integrity.
6. Learn: Growing is partly achieved through reading and learning. Integrity deals with what some call 'universals'--those values that impact all of us, such as justice, and love, and truth. To grow in such universals is to study them; to read what others have written about them and apply those ideas to your own life. What are the great sources for understanding love and justice? Where do you learn about friendship and service to others? Find those sources and read them and apply them to your life.
7. Maintain Order: Indeed, there can be an advantage to not showering for days and letting your work space clutter up beyond comprehension, but keeping yourself and your home and workplace orderly can be an amazing character booster. Some psychologists will be able to tell if someone is depressed by their persona appearance: is the person letting him/herself go, or looking after him/herself? Also, maintaining order speaks to others about you; it shows you care about your environment and your work.
8. Confess when you mess up: You're going to make mistakes. You're going to let people down, fib once in a while, get busy and no-show, and on an on. It's ok. When things like that happen, it's best to confess what you did, apologize and move on. One of the best ways to end a matter when you've caused it is to ask for forgiveness. People want to be around someone who is fine with admitting wrong-doing and looking to make up. The social order may show otherwise, but those with integrity will appreciate it.
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