Image From National Post
If you're looking to get out there and protest something, don't really like your options thus far--Occupy Wall Street is a bit intense and dishevelled, and abortion and euthanasia too controversial--and are simply looking for a fun-kind of protest, something that you can take your kids to and possibly get some exercise while you're at it, you can join the emergent cadre of Pro-Tobagganers at a snowy slope near you (or, like other radicals, you can travel to other places like Niagara Falls, Hamilton, or hop on a plane to Edmonton--so many options to choose from).
Indeed, in the spirit of the war of 1812, we Canadians may be skittish (and let's face it, too refined) to fight for our right to party, but we certainly know when to throw-down in the face of immanent threats to those activities (especially those that deal with tons of snow) that we cherish as national identities. For if tobogganing goes, as some might fear, what will be next? Polar bear swims (for the risk of cardiac arrest and frost-bite), Log rolling (concussions), and the big fear, hockey (though the swarms of cash it receives every year, even from a team that hasn't won since 1967, is enough to keep it around regardless of how outlandish and cro magnon the whole thing devolves to).
Indeed, we are in a real political pickle; and as the war wages on a snowy hill near you, here are some tips to keep you safe while thumbing your nose, like a good Crazy Canuck should, at toboggan prohibition:
1. Don't wave a sign and toboggan at the same time: This may sound like a joy-kill, but think about it: Speeding down a hill with one hand clutched to the side of your sled and the other wielding a 3-foot wooden sign.... You don't need the imagination of Steven Spielberg to figure where that's going to end.
2. Scope out the hill: Yes: look before you leap. There's nothing more painful to behold on a snowy slope than some middle-aged guy hurtling his body carelessly down a hill and launching 14 feet in the air, and with that an unlaced boot, toque and mitt--and the inevitable, wincing, crashing dismount--by way of a surreptitious, 70-degree angled jump ramp.
3. Leave your dog at home: I tried taking my dog sledding once; there was a sign that read "Keep all dogs on leash." Needless to say, she didn't do so well accompanying me on the Magic Carpet super-man style... Besides, with the temperatures below zero, it's not safe for them. Dogs won't complain, so unless they're holding up their limp paw and looking at you through the whites of their eyes, there's no way of knowing that they'd rather be watching Friends re-runs.
4. Follow signs: It might sound lame, but signs are in place for people's safety. I've seen plenty of accidents on hills that were too insane to toboggan down; and while it is a national past time (what else are we supposed to do with all this bloody snow for 90-100 days), I don't think anyone out there would argue for supplanting well-being for a mere political point about sledding. There are many other causes out there that warrant such ardour and the sacrifice of one's body--but sledding? I'm not saying quit the protest; rather, be open to the sign making a point about the fitness of the hill for safe tobogganing. You'll always find others.
5. Keep an eye on the kids: Whether it's your kids or those around you, don't be afraid to offer guidance or warnings about unsafe behaviour and terrain. If you see one of those killer covert ramps, find a way to mark it up. If you see a little one about to do something dangerous, step in.
6. Size up the sled: I had a GT Snow Racer growing up, and the thing was like a suped-up Mustang at the sophomoric hands of a juvenile. Learning how to ride those things down massive hills was an education in pain-management. Unless it's a bunny hill, it's probably not a good idea to let your 4/5 year old down a 60-degree slope on one of those death-machines. Make sure your kids have sleds that are right for them and their level of experience.
7. Head gear?: I never wore head-gear growing up, unless playing competitive hockey; and I remain part of those parents who believe that this whole safety gear thing has grown totally out of hand. There's something about your kids learning how to fall and get up, and understanding their physical limits because they've had the opportunity to push them without the false comfort of a helmet or shin guards. However, if you're taking your kids to a hill, and feel it's a bit on the dicy side, there's nothing wrong with packing one in your car just in case.
8. Drinking and sledding: A no-brainer, really. Drinking lowers your discretion, which not only causes you to take more chances with yourself and others, but also puts you in a position where you may not be as sensitive to the effects of the elements on your body, such as frost-bite, etc. If you're out there sledding and picketing, consider staying dry--spiking your hot chocolate with a couple stiff shots of espresso can certainly delight the brain, and may even enhance, rather than inhibit, your reflexes.
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